I suppose every once in a while I should post about just the daily living things and stuff I have spent my time on. The mundane. Although for me now nothing seems mundane. Every moment is a cherished one. The usual and the routine do not exist for me anymore. That was something that happened right away, at the beginning. The harsh edges of the world disappeared. Grey turned silver.
So, I spent a couple days with my beloved nephew Steve. Although we had big plans to play games and such, we ended up mostly in deep introspective conversation, talking about life, the universe and everything. I of course conjured up many family memories and stories. His house is comfortable and warm and inviting, and I felt someone had dropped me off at a luxurious and expensive spa. It was a good two days.
Then Friday we got all the Legal mumbo jumbo out of the way finally and finished and that was an accomplishment. My hair had fallen out the day before so I showed up at the law office in my Sock Monkey hat. Gave new meaning to the phrase “Are you of sound mind…..” That night my sister Denise and I celebrated with great cheese, wine, and some antipasto meats, and a movie together. I had actually had a lot of the legal stuff done years ago (not done well, mind you, but done and legally binding) but my niece Mysi (who is executor of my estate) in her most competent and efficient manner set it in stone for me by getting a lawyer and we re-did it for accuracy and for them to be more up to date and current. So, Power of Attorney, Last Will and Testament, and Advance directives all done and we good to go.
Most of the past month has been kind of a whirlwind of activity. Who knew cancer was so darn busy? My ten radiation treatments ended last Tuesday. It was painless (and actually quite interesting and educational for the clinical side of me.) I had some side effects, but not anything to write home about. There was a feeling in the afternoon of exhaustion, but a good nap and I was back up and at ’em. Main thing was the funky taste in my mouth all the time and all food flavors went haywire. This of course led to me doing a kind of running experiment with food. Catsup turned hot. Actually all tomato products gained heat. This begs the question does radiation have a special effect on tomatoes? Dill pickles were flat. Black Pepper lost its taste completely, it was a flat flake. Some foods had the taste of burnt fire wood throughout. Salt was so salty it bordered on caustic. Things that were still good: Ice cream, malts and shakes, peppermint, Orange Juice, apples, dates, rice, and salad. I really look forward to the day when my mouth tastes normal. I am not sure when it wears off.
Friday we saw the big dog Oncology doc and set up the PET scan appointment to take a look see how the radiation affected the tumors/swelling. Talked about what can and cannot be done and other various treatments depending on a number of things, He did some lab to identify various cell markers, which may or may not lead to chemo, but he really does not think it would be beneficial, not even in a palliative way. So, a couple more weeks, we revisit.
I am not sure that I ever explained my feelings about Cancer treatment. I have given it considerable thought, and discussed it all at length with my niece Mysi, who knows my feelings about it. I of course was a cancer nurse for some time. Actually, the floor I worked on was Oncology and “clean heart”; heart caths, pre-op readying for open heart surgery the next day. It was a good combination of patients, since the cancer patients are so vulnerable and the cardiac folk were not ill with communicable diseases. Anyway, I saw so many valiant struggles—some awe inspiring, some horrendously gruesome and heart breaking. But I had decided that if it ever happened to me. I would accept it, and not fight for more time…but BETTER time. If anything would debilitate me to where I was more sick from the treatment than the disease, if I was not ME, if I was incapacitated and my quality of life was diminishing from the treatment then I would not have it done. I want to be me til I die.
Good news on the religious front as well, The priest is coming over on Tuesday, 9 am. I should make a separate blog post just about that. Maybe I will.
We have had 4 glorious days of Spring like weather. I have my windows open now as I write this. It is 72 degrees on January 29. I count my blessings everyday. The weather is one of them lately. God loves us in Oklahoma.