Managed to insert an image, took me a bit longer than usual, but at least I relearned that skill. Yay me.
People thought I would be devastated, perhaps in despair. I can certainly understand this, it is, on its first glance, a devastating message to receive. I suppose most people react this way. But for me, it was the perfect example of God’s perfect timing. (Kairos) When you are Christian, and you give your life and will over to Jesus, the only time your life goes correctly is when you are firmly in His hands. I have spent 50 years now, having been baptized at age 9, attempting to follow the Christian way, and not done a great job of it. I have fallen and failed many times, but have always turned back. With Christ is the only way my life made any sense. Most outsiders to the Faith assume that we all accept Christ and then are all goody goody perfect. This is never true. Faith is a struggle. Walking the path is a climb. But it is glorious, and is our purpose.
Truly, my initial reaction was a spiritual healing so deep it defies description, followed by a feeling of being completely filled with God’s grace and a sudden strength of spirit I have only felt once before in my life. At my Baptism.
It all made sense. It was like finishing a giant jig saw puzzle. I wept with Joy, and hoped that others who did not understand the gift I was just given would snatch it from me with their own ideas of how I should die, and that I should clutch at this world and want more time in it. I have been given tasks to complete, wonderful ones by our Lord, and I pray each day to do them well.
First and foremost is to finally take my light from under the bushel and remind everyone I meet:
“And we have known and believed the love that God hath for us. God is love, and he that dwelleth in love dwelleth in God, and God in him.” 1 John 4:16
I am to be that love.